Plunging at last

It is with great pleasure that I launch InBalans (resilience for life) coaching and training services in January 2021, after several years in incubation. There is a fine line between fear, procrastination and timing, but I believe that the coming together of various enabling factors at this point in time suggests this time is the RIGHT time. I hold on to the old adage that “good things come to those who wait”, although waiting certainly does not imply passivity. Much went on behind the scenes before everything came together at this point in time and the work continues.

Resilience, the “muscle” to thrive

InBalans is all about journeying alongside our clients to help them build and expand their psychological resilience and integrate the knowledge and skills in all spheres of their lives. There is certainly no time like now, in the midst of the CORONA virus pandemic, that our resilience is tested beyond what many of us have ever experienced. And, predictions are that times to come will be even more uncertain and chaotic. Now is a good time to invest in building our resilience.

In this blog I will not expand too much on the theory of the concept of psychological resilience, as this is a complex and somewhat controversial concept in the academic world. I will spend time in the future to share more about theory and the various understandings out there. However, in spite of the controversy around the concept, there is agreement that resilient people don’t just survive but thrive in spite of their circumstances.

Who then, would not want to develop this “muscle”?

Learning to surf the waves of life

I want to share my view of resilience and the journey towards greater resilience, using surfing as an analogy. I regret that I never learnt to surf, so I am no authority on the subject. However I spent quite a bit of time with some surfer dudes in my younger days and that wonderful experience came to the surface as I reflected on the concept of resilience.

The most basic knowledge and skill you should have before attempting surfing, most certainly is the ability to swim. Then there is a shipload (no pun intended) of knowledge, skills and behaviors you need to acquire to become a decent surfer and survive and enjoy the surf. You need to learn what boards you use for which purpose, and its maintenance requirements. What gear do you need? You need to understand the ocean and all its quirks; and the role of the weather and the winds. You need to adopt the culture and lingo in the water to stay clear and safe among other surfers; and then you need to know how to handle the inevitable dangers you will encounter. While you are accumulating the above knowledge you are also learning to surf. How and where do you paddle in to wait for a wave? How do you get to standing on your board and maintain your balance? What do you do when the waves dumps, dunks and roles you etc. And then, of course, you really want to learn to ride those exciting, big waves.

Photo by Vladimir Kudinov

While you have mustered all this knowledge and skill there is still the reality that this is a dangerous, unpredictable, thrilling sport. You know things can go terribly wrong in many ways and you may not survive. But that does not fill your thoughts when you head out for the joy and thrill of the wonderful experience of the sea, and you hope that this time will be the best surf ever. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it’s not. You have close encounters; rough seas, you get rolled and pounded by the waves but you survive, recover and go again.

So building and expanding your psychological resilience is a lot like learning to surf. Like swimming is your basic skill in surfing, taking care of you physical health is your basic skill in building resilience. Then there is a shipload of knowledge, attitudes and skills about “how to do life” effectively, productively and successfully. What tools do you use where? What are survival tactics when the waters are rough? How do you recover after being “dumped” hard by the waves of life?

With that you advance from being flung around by life’s waves, to riding the waves of life. In the beginning you battle to maintain balance riding the small waves, you fall off, and you get up again. As you start gaining better balance and accumulate experience, you start riding the small waves all the way; and then you graduate to the bigger waves, and even if they are scary at times, you enjoy the thrill. But every so often you land in trouble of some kind and you need to know how to recover, keep the surfboard close and stay afloat till you can get back to safety. This is scary, sometimes lonely and the waves may be overwhelming, but you know what to do to survive this crisis.

Maybe the greatest similarity to surfing is accepting the fact that life and everything about it, is risky. It’s not safe, it’s largely unpredictable and completely without guarantees (except of course for death, at some point), but when you are equipped with the knowledge and skill to handle what life throws at you, you have a good chance of experiencing the thrill of the surf of a life time.

So the invitation is out, come and learn with us how to ride the waves of life and enjoy the thrill.

By Helena Cook